Depression is not just about feeling sad; it’s a deep, overwhelming struggle that can leave someone feeling helpless, misunderstood, and alone.
You may want to help and make a depressed person feel better, but sometimes, even well-meaning words can do more harm than good.
The key is to approach the person with empathy, patience, and a willingness to listen. Sometimes, just being there for them can mean more than saying the “perfect” thing.
Here, we’ll give you insights on what you can say, and what to avoid saying, to someone who is feeling depressed.
What to say
1. “I’m here for you.”
Letting someone know you’re there for them can make a huge difference. Depression often makes people feel isolated, so your presence, even without answers, can provide comfort.
2. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Validate their feelings. Remind them that it’s okay to struggle and that they don’t need to hide their emotions. This helps them feel understood.
3. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply offer a listening ear. Let them share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. Avoid pushing them to talk if they’re not ready.
4. “You’re not alone in this.”
Depression tricks people into thinking no one else understands. Reassuring them that you’re by their side can ease that sense of loneliness.
5. “What can I do to support you?”
Instead of assuming what they need, ask them directly. Whether it’s running errands, helping with chores, or just sitting quietly with them, your willingness to help can mean a lot.
What not to say
1. “Just snap out of it.”
Depression is not something someone can simply “snap out of.” Comments like this can make them feel misunderstood or ashamed of their feelings.
2. “Other people have it worse.”
Comparing their struggles to others’ only invalidates their pain. What they’re going through is real and deserves compassion, no matter what.
3. “You should be grateful for what you have.”
Depression doesn’t mean someone is ungrateful. This statement can come across as dismissive and make them feel guilty for their feelings.
4. “You just need to stay positive.”
While positivity is important, depression makes it impossible to feel that way. Pushing positivity can seem unhelpful and unrealistic.
5. “You don’t look depressed.”
Depression doesn’t always show outwardly. This comment can make someone feel like their pain isn’t valid or visible enough to be taken seriously.
Supporting someone with depression isn’t about fixing them; it’s about showing kindness, empathy, and understanding. The most powerful thing you can do is listen, be patient, and let them know they’re not alone. Sometimes, your presence and compassion are all they need to take the next step toward healing.
